Ergg

So I'm trying to watch some online streaming of an interview Gaga is doing RIGHT NOW. The thing isnt working, probably because Australia has ugly internet. Either way the above picture is all I got. What I can tell you is that that is her real hair for a change. Frizzled. She's looking like Madonna crossbred with a lizard.

Update!

Im still trying and this is all I've got:

A fun night at my place I'll tell you that.

Sexy City 2 London Premier - What 2 Wear?!

Firstly you gotta know that Sexy City and its fake flower flaunting ways have a following of hillbillies that look to it as a style bible - one that moves and says 'penis' alot. So what did the fashionistas themselves wear to the premier as to keep thier names up there with the fashion elite (Uncle Karl, Kate Moss, Alexa Chung, Ryan Lobo, and the Teletubbie that carried a bag).

SJP; wore a eyebrow raising hat that has bloggers blogging. Peeps have called this thing everything from the puff of smoke on Lost to the shit that the volcano spewed out. Either way SJP took a risk and it didnt pay off. She's also wearing an old doona tucked into her panties and a thing on her arm that takes her blood pressure level every 60 seconds.

Kristin (the conservative one); thought she'd tuck into the Grecian roots she doesnt have and opt for the Aphrodite look. Naturally this worked a head-to-toe vegas girl charm and she has been praised for her generous tip to low fashion. For those of us who know every Sexy City episode ever this would fit seamlessly into the slutty Charlotte at the casino in Atlanta look. Basically what I'm saying is she looked cheap and gold is out.

Kim (the one who likes sex alot) has taken the matching bedsheets to SJP's doona dress and clipped them around her bodice with a broach found at her own garage sale. To her credit, not doing much (giving fashion the finger) has worked a magical charm; in comparison to the doona woman, penniless showgirl and dodo (on the right), Kim has come off as the one you'd rather invite over for tacos.

Cynthia; direct from the pages of Vogue (they advertise airlines right?) has chosen an ocean blue swimsuit then has had it altered into a dress. Really surprisingly fashionistas have not picked up the look! And speaking of picking up, Cynthia has picked up 2 furry friends from the wig shop and glued them to the hairline on her neck. AKA she's trying extensions and I'm not fooled nor entertained.

In conclusion, Kim looks fine. The rest are bloody idiots who's fashion taste tastes like diarrhea served in a empty toilet roll.

Happy Thursday Night!

Big Yellow Smudge @ Sexy City Premier

I Smell Tina Knowels

A beige skin toned neckline and disney colour palette - can Tina please step out from behind the nearby shrubbery and own up to her needlecraft. And who whispered to Kelly to go for Diana Ross hair? We all know who the lead was in Destiny's Child.

Even if Tina grew a heart and decided to leave Kelly alone, ugly ass clothes would still find her. It's as if this warped outdated futuristic (circa the new millennium) aesthetic will forever haunt one of music's favorite black sheep (Rowland) forever.

Fathers Day Gift Suggestion

I'm sure Marc thought it was a good idea at the time, and then he smelt a lesbian wearing it in the street and rethought his approach to perfume marketing.

Looks Like Fun

If it were anyone else I'd have a grin and friendly eye roll, instead I pull a gran and drop the 'bad girl' card. Tsk! Tsk!

In the past week Lohan has zipped over to Cannes to promote an invisible project that has less gusto than some stationary tumbleweed... imagine. Either way Lohan ended up at the casino.. wait not ended.. started. This was day 1.

Now fast forward to day blurr, and Lohan is back on familiar turf. Surrounded by all her favorite things in life, Lohan is probably having more fun than falling in a bin when shooting Mean Girls. F.Y.I. - she does her own stunts.

Now fast forward to deaths doorstep and Lohan has found a friendly chair, as well as a shoulder to grip onto and a table to line up her growing collection of fairydust/dead skin cells.

So with a $100,000 bail waiting for her on arrival back in the US (she MAY have hit afew people... with a car... twice), as well as an alcoholics fashion must (the very couture alco-ankle bracelet) Lohan comes out on top. What (to any human) would appear to be the demise of a drug tortured hollywood blackhole, is actually the art and craft of Lohan and her many adventures through the 21st century. Oddly enough it was also reported mags have obituaries written should Lohan stay faithfully on course. Would it also surprise you to know channel 10 has The Parent Trap on permanant ready should an R.I.P. tribute weekend become a kind sentiment.

No Fun

Basically the Xtina we knew is gone. She was great and if you really wanna think about her just read her wiki for the usual summary.

Gone are the days of a slinky orange minx clad in tasteless items that suggested she was a broke fashion-backwards soapie make-up artist.

Cornrows nowadays means only a row of edible corn to the fading starlet.

And as for her new music; it aint new; sources say it's a bunch of B-sides from the 90s she 's playing the xylophone over the top of. The album comes soon and fans worldwide are preparing for a pirate downloading festival - Jack Sparrow attire a necessity.

Out With The Old

Nicole Scherzinger has officially got a new handful of hoes to dance around her! And more importantly they cover all hair colours! Feeling included yet?!

Strangely they have recycled the same old outfits that simply must have years of swear crusted into the groins and underarms. But now to pick a favorite; I've never put my money on Nicole (she has a nasty face right???), I cant go with the confusing red fringe business (named Rino Nakasone-Razalan), I'd be a fool to like a girl named James Lee Ruiz (aka wavy brown hair), Bondie was on So Ya Think Ya Can Dance (Kherrington Payne) and didnt win, so I'll have to go with a dish of Vanessa Curry. Maybe she is the modest one? latex pants will do that for you.

I Have A Problem With...

Jada Pinkett Smith. She's a creepy little face that always catches you off guard. Here she is again waiting for you in a sea of comforting faces. Whereas I wait patiently for the day where Jada is revealed to be the worldwide hub of all bestiality. I can just see it in her eyes. Can't you.

Kate Moss In A Puddle

It's hard to say wether this is great or not. So I'll go with what is easier for me (the negative) and winge about how models love to get nud and roll around for a camera. And honestly, my favorite part of the picture is the water. Swim anyone? But get that boney naked woman off the beach first plz.

Dinner Time

In the next week or two Gaga should drop another video. And you know how I feel about that: it'll be a painful wait that ends with injury.

Keepin It Unconventional

With a face to match her fresh jeans, M.I.A. went to a irrelevant TV shindig in NYC.

The Shit Cats Do

It's been a real tear-jerker here at Cyber Virgo HQ.

So Frenchy So Vomit

Meet Cathy & David Guetta.

What Next; Toilet Paper?

Firstly please click the 'sexy city' tag/label for this post and revisit the sexy city underwear collection. Well now its been outdone by a bunch of ugly jiffies. LETS ANALYSE;

Carrie: The girly girl gets an age-inappropriate pink thats been glammed up by what looks like some cheap gold pom poms.

Samantha: The 'one that likes sex alot' gets a very X rated black. Topped with a hint of gold and a very funky plastic blob. Seductive.

Miranda: They got this one wrong alright; gave the she-he purple shoes with bows... it's gonna be a big argument getting her to swap her reef-sandals for these.

Charlotte: The frigid one gets white because she's the one you'd associate virginity with if you had too. A bunch of melted plastic pearls glued to the top gives these flats a look that screams Garage Sale.

True Colours

I was feeling real blue that Kelis's career had gone shitcakes, but then this pic from her upcoming Fleshtones album booklet found the internet and I'm totally on board. DUH! All anyone has to do is photoshop their head onto an animals body and I'm your bitch. I think its fucken great, and I can't wait to see my pointy face meet its match with a parrots body.

Innocent Behavior

Now this is a curious snap. There are so many readings. Being a tacky site, I'll just go for the obvious call... Or actually maybe I'll just comment on the dude's flexibility or his junkie eyes. Can I also draw attention to the bizarre curve/silhouette of the vertical leg - gets kinda creepy around the crotch but these moves always come with that kind of baggage. Now look twice!

This is the closest a male gets to giving birth.

What Did You Do Today?

Gagz crusin around Amsterdam. Could you too also wear a old wig 24/7? Bring out the bald scandinavians who sacrificed their childhood locks so Gagz can feel diva. (Nows the point where you imagine 25 bald scandinavian 12yr olds at your door asking for their hair back).

At Least The Photographer Thought It Was Cute

Type type, mash mash. qoeirghfq;eoighv wroghf

Legendzz

Back before the days of the internet and fried foods, if you got famous you'd be a pretty fucken big deal and conquer the world. Well afew old scraps are still with us - Elton J, Shirley B, Debbie H, Stinggy blah blah blah (it was before anyone I know was born). Anyway this lot let Gaga into their cliche to sing for the rainforest. It's got me asking is she a new legend or is that plain bullshit and she isnt the second coming of Jesus. Try not to break my bubble.

Cats

Some people have seriously devoted their life to 'the cat'. I would like to devote my life (or a temperamental phase of it... 5 minutes... max) to these people. Naturally I wouldnt visit their stinky dens but I'd love to see just how far they could take it. I'm expecting to see at least a taxidermied cat turned into a puppet - kitty still moves!

Hate

I fucken hate it when this bitch lays low. It's like find your groove, ditch the men with the instruments and give me a fucken reason to live. Needless to say her cute babies have destroyed her career as an Italian-American pop princess.

Her

Some of you with working memories may remember the year 2005, and what we thought was hot at the time; a chick callin herself Uffie. Nowadays if it doesn't start with a G and end with an A then it's really not worth the industry's time. So surprisingly the Uff has looked around her 1 bedroom studio apartment, picked up her baby (she made it) and put together what some might call an 'album' (check wikipedia for pronunciation on that one). Sadly she's just put all her old hits (circa 2005 may I add) on it with a couple of bland newies, and the thing will sadly be released to the public at May's close. Gargle gargle gargle....

Baby Gurl

Uh oh Kendra's sexy tape is about to drop. Looks completely foul.

The thing is... humans have been doin the sex for yearrrrrsss (check yo factz) so who really cares that another pair of tits n genny's are goin at it on the man pole?

Priceless.

Now lets fucken replace the original. Its a new century already.

Eh Eh

Not much to really comment on. The only thing I noticed was the wig has gotten shorter; the ends must have got ratty in the Australian humidity so had to be cropped. I worry about these things, I really do.

Meghh

Entertain yourselves... I'm tiered.

Totally Sick

For those of you who only read stuff on an illuminated screen this may be a shock to yaz, but get it into your brainy wainy; Virgo was originally a black & white zine. Primitive you say? Ow gurl this shit was the definition of a cottage industry...

Anyways, the last issue popped out this year; Issue 16; the Spice Girls tribute edition. And it's totally mad; primarily because you can physically hold this thing so there's no stopping you plugging your arse with it! Hoorah!

Our xxxclusive zine dealers 'Sticky' (as of the past 24 hours) have 6 past issues on catalogue, including the Spicey new one for sale at their online zine vault! So ask first, then borrow mum's credit card, and get the lot - twice!

http://maildept.stickyinstitute.com/v

Seriously, you'll think the bibles been re-written: and it was actually Geri Halliwell who parted the waters and Baby Bunton who carried 2 Iphones down a mountain and started making commandments to the other Spices.

Gargle Gargle

I was youtube watching Xtina (although now more of a PGtina) sing for Oprah. The whole thing was very frightening.

What You'll See At Riri's Concert

A light up dress - my golly the technology...

Some tight latex bullshit that screams practicality.

A pink tank being ridden by a metal patient.

A big gun looking thing - a chance for the haters to pray for a fall.

And Riri going at the drums, because this economy couldn't afford a drummer so everyone on the tour has to do 2 duties. Thats how a back-up singer ended up as a chef and a roadie ended up as the lead stage left dancer.

Get Me A Gilded Frame

This is really fun.

If Gaga Can Do It...

We appreciate what you've done in the past, but this is gettin silly.

Tryin'

Who looks better; the 51 year old in the pedophile coat or the 14 year old that's battling facial hair?

News That Stopped The World; Mimi's Bling

Mimi is the luckiest girl in the world. Keepin the antics ageless (she's over 40 - don't judge) she's been spoilt by her husband Nick on their 3rd anniversary. On presentation of the new gifts she shrieked like a 3 year old banshee then ran around in circles till dizzy.

She also got an Ipad, so she can get working on her Farmville.

Licky Licky

I'm At My Wit's End

Someone once told me that somewhere there is a blog dedicated to the fashion moves of Katy Perry. This isn't an innocent sport, as regularly the future Mrs. Brand makes choices that shadow her style as negative. Aka she's a fucken freak, who continually twists the rainbow around her body while forgetting to cover her massive forehead. She's done this again in the above dress where everything has worked against Katy from the second she yelled "yawww I like that" in the fitting room.

But hold up! I do give one tip of the hat; this fucken rag lights up, and I'll never have a problem with that gimmick. Never have, Never will.

I will credit her with having carved out a niche for herself in the rag department, I'm just still perplexed at how she always just gets it so wrong... and looks like an early bloomer off to prom in the process.