Monday, August 30, 2010

Beyonce - Being Rich - Part 6

So Beyonce's been jettin all over this flat (I refuse to believe it's round) earth of ours.
Popping into hot sexy expensive locations, Monaco or some shit.
Mad glam babe onna boat. ROYALTY.
Pulling a P!nk - showing a sporty athletic side. Givin us a cheeky smile in the process too.

Then just now she's re-appeared in NYC chillin backstage at the Lauryn Hill seance. Yes a hat is a lifesaver when you find your wig getting slippery on your forehead. Smart.

Lauryn Hill; "I Will Kill You"

"Your all going to die down here"

Show Me Your _

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hair Did

Looks like Brad's dug up a pic of himself that he rather likes, taken it to the hairdresser and asked for the familiar wash, cut, and foil treatment he so fondly remembers. Boy was he surprised to learn they still charge the same rates! And haven't the highlight's really saluted his time as Mr. Aniston.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Kendra's Weekend Away

If you didn't know, Kendra is hella dedicated to keeping her fans in touch with the realities of her wonderful and glamourous life. Her irregular blog posts are always a highlight of my month where I'm given the rare opportunity to peer into the life of one of Hollywoods most wanted. What's she wearing? who is she with? Wassup girl!?!
So Kendra's had a getaway from her kid & man by going to Miami with some palz. Relazin in the sun; check! feeling sexy; check! keepin it real; check!

All blinged up with a sassy sequin top, skinny Js, and natural inspired makeup. Kendra hit da club, da beach and every eatery in between. So pretty! What a weekend!


One day people will get over 'xtreme' photography. Bubbles have to pop one way or another right? Maybe I just wanna hate, but when will I stop seeing shots of shit in mid air?

And What Did You Do Today Honey?

The shit that find me is really quiet touching, I've just got a savvy pair of eyeballs that will look at basically anything.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dear Dr. Google

So for like the past 24 hours I've been bloated! I dunno if it was the full on dinner I made last night but srsly! It's got me feeling all kinds of baby bump. Got me thinking; maybe there's some kind of asian herb (in my kitchen) or a simple stand-on-your-head remedy. ?!?!?!?!?

Anyway, so I went to drop a self diagnosis session with my GP, Dr. Google. Optimistically typed in 'bloated' to my fav search engine and up comes a thousand professional sounding responses, they even have comments from other bloaters (my peers) and what they did to shoot out their phantom pregnancies. Basically Dr. G says I've got a life threatening cross combination of everything from swallowing too much air when I eat to irritable bowel syndrome. Ulcers of the intestine variety are also a very real possibility.

'Joe from Gilbert' says peppermint oil is the answer. Sadly Joe didn't say how much to drink so I've just swooshed a sprig of thyme (had no p'mint) around a bowl of olive oil and drunk the lot. Now I'm listening to Miley Cyrus and waiting for my bump to go down. Tick Tock!

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Dont ask me to explain why some cows get the hate treatment and others get put in my homegirl box, I can't help the way my heart pulls. Anyway my favorite Kardashian is by far Khloe, because she looks a little bit like Elvis and a little bit like Venus Williams. Plus she's always keepin me in the loop with cute blog pics and updates that make my less meaningful.


It's almost hard to write about because the image speaks so strongly for itself. What I will tell you is Katie Price is launching a new boutique line of robo-brides to compete with the growing market of second grade, black market, teen sluts from Russia that are scoring free flights to the western world where a obese ball of human waits with a wedding ring/credit card. Katie wants to make it clear she is the only silver skinned, self cleaning, battery rechargable device for the sexually stunted creeps of London town.

I Pray

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Whatta Headspin!

For some people looking for photoshop fuckups is like digging in the modern day goldrush.

Like OMG! a hand!

Friday, August 20, 2010


One of the biggest perks of having a hotmail account is the great news page you get when you sign out. Somehow they have really got the news down to a T and in a form I can never say no too. Eg; breaking news;
Amazing!!! Im curious to read on! They know this is the shit people click on, none of that 'flood in Pakistan kills hundreds' buzz killer.

Basically 10 month old Lei Lei (good name right!) weighs the same as a 6 year old, at 20kg. His 'ravenous appetite' comes from an addiction to eating... anything. Sadly he is 2kg behind the world record :(.

Mimi In An Orange Knitted Coat

Firstly, y'all gotta know she's been outta the spotlight for months, working on another Christmas album (due November 2) and probably trying to connect sperm to egg.
Then she pops up in Brazil, lookin all kinds of big breasted.
Is that a pregnancy glow of some Brazilian sun?

Then she went to steakhouse where she happily sat next to a flower for the rest of the afternoon. Good food and good company!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hint Hint

So just incase you've got a vendetta against me, heres a saucy little hint on hacking my (recently reinstated) centrelink account!
It's one of my 3 top secret confidential questions! And just if your wondering - the answers to the other two are prominent shit on this blog; easy shit to remember... rhymes with 'lala'...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The 'Next' Facebook

Ever the Queen of Everything, Mariah has stormed the internet with a perfume related website that is basically a virtual butterfly mating ground!
This is the wonderland your browser will take only minutes to load!
You can read up on all the wonderful scents Mariah has busily been brewing, which will be your fav? Mine Again, Ribbon, or Honey? Basically I want all three without actually wanting any of them.
This little description has my credit card on stand by!

I recon the site ( is what Mariah has halted baby-making plans to create. I know this because it's full of beautiful messages that some friendly PR person has fabricated on Mariah's busy behalf. So re-set your homepage!

Missy Is So Cute!

Always a sassy lil miss, Missy E has been re-tweeting sexy thoughts to her fanz.

Monday, August 16, 2010

More Mindless Shit From The Net

Im sorry, but I love a good net ad! Tasteless motherfukkaz that appear to be put together by the penniless Tafe students of the north pole.

Lol - if only an agreeable, underaged, 'funny', Russian wife was that easy!

Aging For The Sake Of It

So Madonna accidentally left the house this August and people have decided she's celebrating her aging process.
Aside from the kudos she received for lookin pretty human, I was more flustered by Lourdes' face, which appears to be a healthy blend of teenage confusion with styling advice from Mum's third-in-charge assistant. I'm thinking little Lourdes had a sexy look in mind and I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the modern day family of gods, not Zeus and his lot, I'm talking about The Kardashians.

Who wouldn't want to pay to look like this lot?! Personally I identify with Khloe, because she's big and vulgar in a really really cute & fun way.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Go Mom Go!

Internet adds have really been speaking to me lately, the things you learn and the fun you have. Now everyone likes making a quick buck right?! Don't think your homegirl The Internet was gonna let you down on that one. $77 an hour for moms!

As seen on tv!!!! (see theres moms pic on the telly). So basically this is the official OK for us all to reproduce immediately and start earing over $6000 a month. I'm totally off to earn the big bucks!

PS exactly what has mom been doing on the internet?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Insert Me Here!

How do I subtly slip myself into this crowd of people?

Mischa Joins The Rest Of Us In Normaldom

Once the skinny bitch with a a catchy face and clean head of hair has now become;
One of you and me! Welcome Mischa, now let me tell you about ALLLL the ins and outs of centrelink!

Hey Girl!

Beyonce's little half year time out is still on, but she still like to help her mumsy out with afew sexy pix for that doggy line of rags they sell.
Stick on tats are a must.
No surprise 'the future' is back on the inspiration list.
Holla at ya gurl!

Who could resist a friendly spread eagle?!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Groundbreaking News!

Teri has done it again, she's made headlines bigger than that day we found out Shiloh is a lesbian. First Teri knows how to tweet (news to you and me both) and has used it as a vehicle to terrify the young and torture the old. Basically Teri wanted to show she's mastered her acting game and is now an A+ graduate for the skills of smiling and frowning. A pioneer.

Staying true to her Teri nature she's done so in a sassy bath towel because she has long been the poster girl for naked twats. She wasnt about to let that crown slip over to any old Kardashian.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Let today and only today be known as the day when I personally gave Katy Perry the official AOK. She's simply won my heart with 1 of her many costume changes at the Midgets Choice Awards.
Katy did geek and did it good. Captivating images!
Very pro-double chin.
Would ya sex it?

Legs apart is a cute attention to detail.

But watch your back Katy, tomorrow is a new day and some green sequined pant-dress wont fly past me too easily then.

Career Advice 4 Ciara

Career aint right when all your tweetering is pix of you and old political types. Seriously, strip down, find a dirrrty beat and give me a tune to feel like a 57yr old stripper too.

Not A Trick Question

Whats there to like about this dumb slut?