Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This Is Lame

Time to take up a sport - I've just had my second fattest month of blogging. You know thats a bad thing right.

Another Post Involving A Williams Sister

It's not like I'm googling 'Serena' or 'Venus' but I'm always bumping into hot pics of the buff sisters. In this pic Kelly Rowland is looking MAJORLY smug - having a good old LOL to herself at how she's finally got the upper hand in a photo (curse Beyonce). It's not hard to look good when your competition is more fitted to tennis courts and the rainforest.


Delta was feeling a bit blue about her slug status in the USA so she pulled a trick and showed up at Perez Hilton's bday party. Sadly a whole lot of struggling stars showed up in an attempt to get Perez's media influence on their side. Why is Delta so damn unlikeable... Is it the music? the product endorsements? or that her personality rivals Kate Ritchie's? And may I remind you that (as proudly stated on her very own wikipedia) 'in 2009 Kate Ritchie became the face of Vaseline' - lucky, I know.

On another note, Mel B and husband went to the party. Mel loves to trot around Hollywood - she gets off on the cheese and bullshit.

Not So Hot Property

When and why did Paris stop trying?

Monday, March 29, 2010

Just Thinkin

Do you (like me) get comfort in knowing that rapper Eve is still out there breathing and potentially making sikk music?

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Entertain yourselves with this while I think of something to blog about.

There She Goes

Another fucken day in OZ, breathing MY air and not thanking me for it.

But Who Is That In The Green?

Who is more happy to meet who in this pic?

A) Gaga meeting koala
B) Zookeeper meets Gaga
C) Koala meets zookeeper

All this said, I knew I should have staked out the koala enclosure to meet a star. How stupid I am for only thinking of that now it's too late.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Someone Beat Me To A Great Caption

Falling Down

Didnt see the step coming? A Lohan has fallen.


So Kelis ALWAYS thought she was all that and a cup of tea, now she has to work a bit hard to prove it as a zany costume will only put her in the shadow of missy hoohaa. So Kelis stopped by the party shop, picked up a blue light and shot her next video - for a song that is annoying unless your wacked out and up in the club. Either way Kelis is trying again - anyone care yet?

Nothing But The News

Omgie!!! Beyonce has a bro - the genetic kind!!!
Papa Knowels had an 18 month affair, knocked up a certain Alexsandra Wright, and as of Feb 4 (now confirmed in a DNA thing) has a baby kid they named Nixon. Holy fuck! A kid called Nixon!??!!??!?!?! He's the brand nu bro to Beyonce (28) and Solange (23) - do you think the sisters grim will want anything to do with him??! You'd be sad if you had some smokin rich sister (called Beyonce Giselle Knowels) who didn't dosh on you. This is fucken juicy!

Sadly Mamma Knowels (AKA The Talented Tina) has divorced her hubby of 30 years - making Baby Nixon, yeps that'll kill the love.

The Bitch The Bitch

Why wouldn't I feel offended that Gaga has enough time to bum around a Borders bookstore in Melbourne, yet she can't find the time to become my new bestie (sorry Cass) and sit around while I sing praise to her name. Really... books... what have they got I dont?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


In headlining news, Gaga was in Sydney and was harder to track down (especially when you don't try remotely) than a popstar in a haystack. Sure the concert was banging, but if you wanted to do the inevitable hug-and-not-let-go-crazed-fan act the only opportunity was when the girl glued some cans into her wig and tottered out to the Ivy. Fuck the Sydneysiders who saw her that weren't me. Fuck them.

A. Keys - Are We Fans?

Here we have some carrot top, also known as Mamma Keys (yes Alicia is a halfie), we've got Alicia, then we've got Swiss Beats (who Alicia is dating, but he was married when they met - shared merch) and then we've got some Busta Rhymes/Flo Rider hybrid. It's one of them I'm sure...
Alicia is on tour in the US at the moment, and pissed off the unlucky fans who bought tickets to any show either than her Madison Square Garden show in NYC - by bringing out Beyonce (aka the Matriarch of Hip Hop AND Pop music at the moment). The two acted friendly, sung a song together and proved who's better.

No surprise Beyonce's hips won out. Old songbird Alicia had to practice her booty roll in the mirror twice as hard that night.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

A Deity In Our Midst

There's some people that never did shit for shat and are what I refer to as 'people that would paddle away from the titanic in an empty lifeboat'. Gwen Stefani is not one of these people. Fuck knows what Gwen would do... but my point is Gwen Is A Fucken Babe.
She's popped up in the pages of some US mag (real relevant I know) and reminded the public that she lives, and thats a comforting thought. Especially in a global financial crisis.
She's left the kids at home and got her fashion on. I'm still just thrilled with the general message that she's still around.
Either way, if 3 holy spirits are gonna save me in this lifetime, Gwen is one of them (easy bets for the other 2) and together we'll fly to heaven singing - I'll be doing Eve's rap in Rich Girl.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Jay-Z & Shovel

The other day jay-Z picked up a shovel and started swiveling dirt around for reasons nobody's been able to explain. Why the successful rapper is dabbling in construction is unknown to fans, his singer wife Beyonce commenting 'Jay likes to watch action movies then have dinner'.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

You Decide

Man in a dress or Williams sister? Your call... there is no wrong answer.

Stalk, Stalking, Stalker

Can I just say Lady Gaga (the thing in the picture) is in Sydney. Should I start calling hotels or waiting outside radio stations?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Ya Love It

Did We Ever Like Ferg?

I'm sure she wants us to like her, with her brown wig, Gaga glasses, odd brow and awkward smirk.
Playin pals with a pea and a cheating husband. Good timez, great muzik:

What is she even trying to say? Maybe rock that body or 3008. Sit down Ferg...

Dancin Pussy

If you thought Nicole 'The Zinger" Sherzinger could dance, or had picked up afew tricks from her Pussycat Doll parties, you'd be wrong. The girl's resorted to Dancing With The Stars to learn the fox trot and what not. She also might be trying to melt her cold, snake-like persona by charming the American public with a tango.

Would you vote for this? Get me my phone...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Thought I'd Be Stupid To Not Tell You

It's only because the movie Clueless has had a rough enough year that I thought I'd bring some calm to the storm. Stacey Dash (black chick, blue eyes, half Mexican) went on a hot steamy date with Jamie Foxx to the Oscars and now people are imagining the kids. She's 43 with 2 kids, his 42 and no baby fox. Whats not to like? She was in Clueless, - is there no greater cause?

Now Did We Like Or Did We Love?

Woahaaa kiddos! Telephone video dropped and was pretty fucken massive and pretty fucken fruit looped out of this joint. As long as it's madder than a dementia patient on a dodgem car, I'm happy.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Holla @ Geri

Whats Ginger been doin you ask?!! The girl that was once so dear to your heart is now a 37yr old mother of 1, but she still enjoys showing some leg and making tasteless jokes about being naturally a red-head.
She rocked up with a newly shaved Mel B to the Brit Awards the other week. They got some award for being amazing (13 years ago).
Geri also got scary (looking) in the name of Haiti. The fashion world did its part and roped in some Brit celebs (I think an Aloud Girl was in there too), put them in Katie Price inspired get-ups and sent them down the white plank. Nobody will ever know if they raised so much as a gold coin, but Geri sure had fun, and thats a more powerful message.
Haaaaiiittiii - now a fashion statement. Need me a Haiti T, people will know I'm not only clothed but also so gullible that I care about earthquake relive via a T-shirt. Now to cure cancer with a pair of pants.

But back to Geri - in her spare time (as reported by neighbors and street surveillance) she wanders the local streets aimlessly. And no she isn't looking for an ear to tell an old Spice tale, like the time Posh got wedged between a fridge and a small table. Instead Geri is a regular loud-mouth: especially when a neighbors bin overloads (has to put on her Leg-warmers 4 Landfill enviro gear). Inspecting trash has become more of a hobby than Geri initially expected. She's frightfully proud of the great things found in other peoples trash; not only has she uncovered the original single to Wannabe, she's also scored some out-of-date cat food (fed to her baby) and a mysterious green shoe that has her in a whirl of excitement about finding the other shoe. It's not everyday you get a pair of shoes; FOR FREE.

Keepin Cosy & Cute

(I'm obviously out of words... )

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Gaga Thursday

Y'all may or may not care, but thursday night will see the release of Gaga's next vid. Too bad it's getting released at 9pm American time and I can't work out what that means in Australia. Maybe google 'Gaga Telephone Official Video' sometime friday?

Either way if your having a crap week this will somehow change your state of mind and that's a good thing right?

Any Excuse To Stop Playing With Balls

Serena Williams has clamored her buff broadness into a visually masking black thing and partied for Oscar.

Another night of Oscar week she mistook J.Hud for Venus - only 3 hours later J.Hud missed a tennis joke about Serena's bodgy backhand and was outed as a previous Oscar winner and not the infamous guerilla of the tennis world.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Do I Wanna Talk About The Oscars?

... snore ... nope ...

might talk about the fashions sometime...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Where My Olsens At!

Where's little MK and her naughty sister Ash?! They used to be the joys of the world - sheets as clothing and body frames smaller than a woman in the 16th century, they were good times.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Uh Hum

This shit is such a modern day phenomena. Just like cavemen and their wall paintings, we stalk people's facebook walls. Stalking has never been so accessible and fun. What used to mean standing outside in the rain watching a crush undress now means checking their profile every 10 minutes - to see if they have been tagged in another picture with a person who is not you.

So Jay Z and Beyonce finally cleared a night in a schedule that looked messier than Lindsay Lohans skin complexion and decided to dine with Barack Obz. Bey bought along her newly single mum (hint hint) and Jay bought some other dudes you wont care about. The whole charade was an amazing success and Tina Knowels will shortly announce she is the new first lady of America!

Fun timez!

The Girls Got Charisma

Caption Time

What Am I Doing Here

Heads Will Roll

It's fashion... really

Sexy... I know...