Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hermione Takes No Prisoners!

Somewhere in (potentially) South America, a clever little man with a hairy back keeps outdoing his internet spamming attempts. He never makes them too easy for us though, and I've often had to pull out an encyclopaedia to answer his tricky ass questions. You should see the tower of ipods I have won off these things!
Which one is Diana?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Still Here?

It's literally been years since I've thought of these two, and the dry taste I get in my mouth when I think of them. Oddly they're still alive! And he (being over 60) continues to look like 'generic old man' and she, a fan of the eternal frozen face and the garden rake physique, continues to look like an unofficial, life-sized, synthetic Ally Mcbeal doll - made in Taiwan. The love however, is real, because a love like this is not too good to be true, it's artificial, so it must be real - and like anything plastic, this will take over a billion years to break down. After biological warfare wipes us all out, the dinosaurs return then die again, alien humanoids will rummage through earths crust - discovering my primary school lunch box, water bottles marked 'frantelle' and Calista and Harrison, creeping along arm in arm and as bloody boring as ever.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Move Over Picasso

So we all know that although absolutely minted, 50 Cent's career as a rapper looks like an old candy cane that is not longer crunchy, but more so a unattractive chewy stick.

And any failing musician that can remember their myspace password knows the key to a comeback is some underground internet hype, so a mixtape was in order. 50 got to work, produced some shit I wont listen too, but has really hit a sweet note with his cover art; great use of the bum crack as the mouth of a tiger, I've never thought of it that way but will try to do so in the future. And very fitting for the track title, a tiger assed woman is the antipode of a girl that has lost her inhibitions and now eats her morning toast with her anus.

Monday, January 2, 2012

2012 And Lovin' It

So lets examine some celebs on NYE! Just how did the rich and famous do it??
After hours of trying, Riri finally managed to get a secret snap of the parties worst dressed; Ms Blonde Cornrows 2012, you treasure!

Theres nothing important to say about Beiber when the World is having one of its rare glimpses at Pitbull sans sunnies. He looks like a friend's gross dad, or maybe someone that plays a saxophone at the local pub.