The Best, Worst & Witchiest

Harry Potter 7 part 1 just arrived so it's pretty obligatory I winge about one of its premiers.

Worst dressed goes expressly to Hemorrhoid Granger, who has out-clowned a world of experimental fashionistas with her man cut, DIY jewels and sexy (but not at all) silk slip.

Best dressed easily lands at the mercy of Lourdes, because lets face it, I'm not actually talking rags this is a popularity contest and I think we could make the best of friends.

And Ms Hocus Pocus herself showed up, SJP wore Helena Bonham Carter as an avant garde/couture rap-me-around. She teamed this with 2 dippers (worn on each foot) from her baby twins to give her look that 'they are always with me' sentimental touch.

Ha8erz

People are just hating the flick!

Just pretend sand is made from glitter and we'll all be just fine. Being realistic never made anyone happy.

Sexy City Seen!

Like this bunch of 'girls' I too have seen the movie about 4 zany babes hitting up a desert. While a reverse on the antics of the original series it was pretty fucken funny seeing the gals go wild (the pinnacle of wild being karaoke) and redefining feminism as a humor category. Fun times.

Sexy City 2 London Premier - What 2 Wear?!

Firstly you gotta know that Sexy City and its fake flower flaunting ways have a following of hillbillies that look to it as a style bible - one that moves and says 'penis' alot. So what did the fashionistas themselves wear to the premier as to keep thier names up there with the fashion elite (Uncle Karl, Kate Moss, Alexa Chung, Ryan Lobo, and the Teletubbie that carried a bag).

SJP; wore a eyebrow raising hat that has bloggers blogging. Peeps have called this thing everything from the puff of smoke on Lost to the shit that the volcano spewed out. Either way SJP took a risk and it didnt pay off. She's also wearing an old doona tucked into her panties and a thing on her arm that takes her blood pressure level every 60 seconds.

Kristin (the conservative one); thought she'd tuck into the Grecian roots she doesnt have and opt for the Aphrodite look. Naturally this worked a head-to-toe vegas girl charm and she has been praised for her generous tip to low fashion. For those of us who know every Sexy City episode ever this would fit seamlessly into the slutty Charlotte at the casino in Atlanta look. Basically what I'm saying is she looked cheap and gold is out.

Kim (the one who likes sex alot) has taken the matching bedsheets to SJP's doona dress and clipped them around her bodice with a broach found at her own garage sale. To her credit, not doing much (giving fashion the finger) has worked a magical charm; in comparison to the doona woman, penniless showgirl and dodo (on the right), Kim has come off as the one you'd rather invite over for tacos.

Cynthia; direct from the pages of Vogue (they advertise airlines right?) has chosen an ocean blue swimsuit then has had it altered into a dress. Really surprisingly fashionistas have not picked up the look! And speaking of picking up, Cynthia has picked up 2 furry friends from the wig shop and glued them to the hairline on her neck. AKA she's trying extensions and I'm not fooled nor entertained.

In conclusion, Kim looks fine. The rest are bloody idiots who's fashion taste tastes like diarrhea served in a empty toilet roll.

Big Yellow Smudge @ Sexy City Premier

What Next; Toilet Paper?

Firstly please click the 'sexy city' tag/label for this post and revisit the sexy city underwear collection. Well now its been outdone by a bunch of ugly jiffies. LETS ANALYSE;

Carrie: The girly girl gets an age-inappropriate pink thats been glammed up by what looks like some cheap gold pom poms.

Samantha: The 'one that likes sex alot' gets a very X rated black. Topped with a hint of gold and a very funky plastic blob. Seductive.

Miranda: They got this one wrong alright; gave the she-he purple shoes with bows... it's gonna be a big argument getting her to swap her reef-sandals for these.

Charlotte: The frigid one gets white because she's the one you'd associate virginity with if you had too. A bunch of melted plastic pearls glued to the top gives these flats a look that screams Garage Sale.

... (Loose The Hat)

The word Miranda does not spell fashion and never will. SJP is giving one hairy eye to the lady in the white. What I'm really saying is put your overalls back on and loose the fucken smirk... I know what you are.

This Is Awkward

(Why am I bloggin this?)

So some absolute brainiac thought life was as simple as coloured underwear which somehow has the essence of your favorite Sexy City girl. Pink for Carrie (she's a real girl remember), black for naughty Samantha, blue for Miranda (the masculine one), and for lack of a better colour; violet for Charlotte. I'm sure this makes a great gift when your really trying to wow a friend.

I'm So Confused

Have you ever been so confused you cant put one foot in front of the other? We'll while Carrie has managed to put left over right and walk on I'm afew miles back gathering thoughts and remembering who I am, and how I like my eggs. I don't understand this Sexy City movie business. Shouldn't it be left in the decade thats ending? Or will it be a bit of fun? Sure I'll see it, and I'll get all into it and shit... hell I'll even get the promotional movie goers cup if only they'll let me. But I feel guilty, like I've moved on from a dead lover or something. SJP is worn like crocodile skin and I can actually see why they opted for a big 2 on the poster - sex, sexy, sexual ... this movie aint. In reality its a whole lotta women hawking about in their forties ... oh well ... sign me up ... another reason to leave the house.

Twinz

Sexy City 2 sees the gals back together with a sexed-up teen. It's gonna be full of sex education and definitely aimed at educating younger generations on the importance of using protection. But will she sing?

Randy's New Shoes

Suit-loving, overall clad, and always the more masculine of the 4 'Miranda' (in another of the Sexy City movies) has become some trendoid who loves herself a chunky heel with the works. To which SJ has pulled a Craig David and walked away. Sadly fish-out-of-the-water Mir was left looking like (to everyones disgust) fashions biggest fan.

Tell Me Sarah

Why hasnt the main chick from Sexy City spilt deets on surrogacy? Its not my business but thought it'd be fun to read about how they mixed genes and made twinz.