When Will She Pop?

3 years in the making and finally Mariah is due to pop at any moment. True to form she's kept her figure out of every photo for the past 6 months, we've seen everything but her twin bearing bod. So after multiple twitpics of her dog clan, all nicely showcasing her $10 (but actually 10 mill) butterfly ring, we finally get the above shot... and have you ever seen a more symmetrical circle!

It's nice to know one of pop's finest divas is not only gigantic, but also giggling as a poorly paid assistant paints like a child on her stomach. Perfection.

Clip Of The Year! Clip Of The Year!

It's not everyday we get a music video worth posting, hell I couldn't event be bothered to learn how to 'embed' even when I was all hyperactive about Gaga's Telephone coming out. And when I found that hilarious clip of a monkey pissing into his own mouth... still I was to lazy to embed. But now (praise Jesus or a significantly sexy deity) Mariah has come to the multimedia rescue and I've gone to all the trouble of finding a 'code', and posting a youtube clip. What can I say; people CAN change!

Now for the clip, it is heaven, it is nirvana, it is bigger than life itself. Basically this is my (and consequentially your) happy place. When life gets you down, the bus driver calls you a raging cunt, or you find yourself compatible for the paralympics, watch this, and all is good.

I don't know why the world hasn't replaced Santa asap because we now have an even better version of a 'big, jolly, insane, hairy madman' that delivers fun shit at xmas.

Hey Mimi

So Mimi hosted her hubbys 30th the other night. The love filled occasion went smoothly without too much to chit chat about, hence the blogosphere is left twittering shit about the potential litter she's growing.

Bun in the oven? Tadpoles found their way upstream? rubbed your gennys together 9 months ago? Reproducing much?

Scientists, Biologists, Mathematicians, Astrologers; we're all reading the shady 'cover da hump' body language and getting excited for an infant with cheeks like tennis balls (from Mum).

Plz Mimi tell us your gonna shoot one out sometime, and don't forget to call it Glitter, Lavender, Fantasy and/or Lamb.

It's Gonna Be The Best Xmas Ever!

Somewhere in the recycling bin Mimi has found a handful of pics. Combined with her otherworldly collage skills she's created an album cover for her upcoming Xmas tunez cd. While Mimi appears to be in tip top shape, I can't dismiss the real star of the cover; frosty, who is my new fashion inspiration. Look out for green gloves, nudity and black lipstick.

Taking The Slogan T To New Heights!

Mimi In An Orange Knitted Coat

Firstly, y'all gotta know she's been outta the spotlight for months, working on another Christmas album (due November 2) and probably trying to connect sperm to egg.

Then she pops up in Brazil, lookin all kinds of big breasted.

Is that a pregnancy glow of some Brazilian sun?

Then she went to steakhouse where she happily sat next to a flower for the rest of the afternoon. Good food and good company!

The 'Next' Facebook

Ever the Queen of Everything, Mariah has stormed the internet with a perfume related website that is basically a virtual butterfly mating ground!

This is the wonderland your browser will take only minutes to load!

You can read up on all the wonderful scents Mariah has busily been brewing, which will be your fav? Mine Again, Ribbon, or Honey? Basically I want all three without actually wanting any of them.

This little description has my credit card on stand by!

I recon the site (http://www.lollipopbling.com) is what Mariah has halted baby-making plans to create. I know this because it's full of beautiful messages that some friendly PR person has fabricated on Mariah's busy behalf. So re-set your homepage!

News That Stopped The World; Mimi's Bling

Mimi is the luckiest girl in the world. Keepin the antics ageless (she's over 40 - don't judge) she's been spoilt by her husband Nick on their 3rd anniversary. On presentation of the new gifts she shrieked like a 3 year old banshee then ran around in circles till dizzy.

She also got an Ipad, so she can get working on her Farmville.

Fucken Weird. But What Do I Know About Brazil's Music Taste.

Mimi did a shitty cover of a shitty song and the world walked away as if an old dog had done a fart in their presence. We'll not ALL the world. Brazil got on all fours, and smelt that fart right up. They LOVED I Want To Know What Love Is like it is some Abba/Beatles shit. On another note, my good self gave the song a listen and didnt make it to the end. I did however love Obsessed.

40 Yr Old Woman Thought This Would Be 'Cute'

I Live For This

This is the Xmas card you'd be getting if you were a pal of Mimi & co.

Its fucken out of this world. But what else do you expect from a 40 year old woman with the brain of a 70 year old plastic surgery fuckup?

Mimi Flopped On A Beach

MC has decided on a swimsuit and beach for the makings of her new video. Love the babe whatever size and sanity she's working, but have to shrug when I know to expect her usual roll n play on the shores of some bay.
Its all about ME - and lookin hot in a 1 & 1/2 piece.

Ehh.

The Album Is Out Now

1 2 3 hoist. Mimi has just dropped (a new album) and it's much of her usual tricks. I'd recommend getting it, only because I don't understand the musical quartet 'The Beatles' and think Mimi would be a funny replacement for them atop histories music charts - she's already nipping their records.

So with the album out Mimi is wooshing around town singing stuff and getting buff guys to play tricks with her. I think she's actually enjoying herself giddy - while others think she's just plain pregnant.

White Party

Don't be put off by the name - a gig for caucasians only this was not. A large handful of the worlds most glammarouz people got together and wore white. Puff Dad and Ashton Ketchup hosted and guests included the real MC and her little man.
Lil Kim was surrrre to attend and go heavy on an outfit choice - decidedly matching her face to the party's theme not the skin on her body. On the far right is notable surgery fuckup; hot babe Robin Antin - not only did she start the Pussycat Dolls but she also spent half the profits from hit songs like 'Buttons' and 'I Hate This Part' on a talented mad fuck with a very sharp scalpel.
Pussy herself showed up if only to make it clear she has bought into the budget headband revolution.
R&B songstress Cassie was an attendee and outfit aside, she just wants you to know she is confident enough to rock out the hair misfortunes of yesterday. However even the most unfashionable and testosterone fueled lesbians will tell you they tried that hair yeeears back.
^ Just another pic of ya gurl Lil Kim after she told them other goddesses to shoo off and give her frame the lens it deserves. Her body language is sayin hi baby with her hand and all kinds of strong-black-female secrets with her crossed leggies and chained up low cut bodice.

Guess Who!

Guess who! hint; you like em lots and they broke records set by the beatles (the beatles? who?)