Locked Inside

This kind of shit will happen when you breed freaky stupid fans that follow you into rooms and lock the door behind them. Should never have told them they were born that way.

Don't Forget!

Eggs, milk, bread, and yogurt for mum!

Devil Woman

So it sucks. I've turned the cold shoulder and am now the leader of the opposition. I've got my people working against this right now.

To think you could get away with this crap as your cover art... a fool.

Get Off Meeeee

Its common knowledge that Willow Smith is the current biggest brat around Hollywood. She's the child star who left school at age 9 and has since taken her illiterate self into the glitz and glam. Without discipline and a basic math knowledge Willow runs free.

Precious Moments

She was more scared of him.

Humph?

So a shitload of wax Gaga's were unveiled recently in so many places that the bitch broke another record. My only problem was with the Shanghai Gaga (pictured), which kinda looks a bit over 50.

Coolin Off

Next single coming out in February 2011, gives me 3 healthy months to worship Nicki Minaj.

The New Hair The World Is Waiting For

If your Wig Watch game is a bit slow lets plug it in and recap.

While I usually can tell if she's just trimmed an oldie I think Gag's has forked out a 50 and invested in some new Russian hair.

On second thought I think the entire look is a paper cut out she got out of an airplane activities booklet. She's got crafty on those transatlantic flights!

Gaga's London Look

Gags has been in London for a while because her Paris shows got cancelled cos some irrelevant riot, so she's been working out her grey wig with some black spray paint on it.

Hair, leather, blah blah blah. Are we even surprised anymore. Maybe she needs my fingernails to turn into a hat? Not edgy enough....

Dragging a dead limb around can really slow a day down:

Halloween

There is no doubt that every man and his dog are dressing as Gaga this halloween, but which Gaga? Sure the dog is happy to go as Meat Dress, but what are the rest of us thinkin? Here's my current inspiration:

Keep Driving

My version of this would be alot more violent... my legs poking out the window while I pull myself in... screaming "I'll follow you until you luv meeeee". Gags would be defenselessly hitting my with her officer hat and I'd have to cry to avoid prison... tell her I think of her as a mother or something tastelessly concerning.

Real Significant

Gaga always winds up next to some kind of living legend type. Yoko's just happy to have a big nosed, long haired, circular spec owning, musical personality next to her again.

Sighted, Seen, Spotted,

Dont think you can even answer the phone without me knowing... I got chu.

Sexy

Do You Think They Know?

Even facebook has cottoned on to some of the most exposing facts of my life and are now advertising them right back to me. I don't know what to do or who it was that told them I'd buy 100 Gaga t-shirts if only given the pay-pal option.

Can I Have Your Number?

Sources (the left side of my brain) are claiming that amongst Gaga's many suiters (Muppets, gay men and the whole of Russia) is a man called Jared Leto. He got as close as her mountain of fabric would let him get at the VMAs the other night and sources (my right ear lobe) are suggesting he could be looking to become Mr. Gaga within months. Gaga's people (the freckle on my neck) have spilled that if he were to wed to popular singer an unorthodox cyber-interactive wedding should be expected, where the worlds of Skype, Twitter, Grindr and Mariah Carey's perfume website all come together in one sentimental ceremony.

Some MUST KNOW facts

Basically she can't play with her own genitals without me knowing (FYI it was her decision to tell) so it's no surprise I'm on the case when this one does anything;

First up she's been to bikram yoga! The scandal!

Secondly she's cut her fav yellow wig into a bob - and I thought long hair was coming back in a big way?? Guess the wind has changed once more. This explains the queue outside justcuts and the army of yellow haired bobs marching out.

Show Me Your _

I Pray

The World Is Safe