Too Literal

It wouldn't be the first time she's used Ularu for fashion inspiration.

Sus

There is something transexual going on here, and the hats not helping.

The Most Lovable Gal On The Planet

Aboard Queen's Loveboat!

Somewhere in the ocean is a boat where 'love' has taken solace because here on dry land its just me and a raging army of angry single people. Rest assure the boat WILL sink.

Either way, Queen Latifah has finally found someone to put a tiny woman hand (no beefy man handz here) on her waiting ass. The longtime funny woman is now officially the black Ellen in all dimensions (mind, body & spirit).

2 vaginas = 1 happy Queen! Even more importantly is the fashions!!!! Which whenever a lesbian is around is more like 'are your boardies Roxy or Quicksilver?'. I'll take a stab in the dark and guess Queen's found a fondness for Billabong?

Oddly enough a pregnant Alicia Keys has used her bubble belly to float her (and her man) out to the loveboat where Alicia is happily trotting around eating, farting and discussing baby names - the current frontrunner being 'Alicia Keys Junior'.

Sexy City 2 London Premier - What 2 Wear?!

Firstly you gotta know that Sexy City and its fake flower flaunting ways have a following of hillbillies that look to it as a style bible - one that moves and says 'penis' alot. So what did the fashionistas themselves wear to the premier as to keep thier names up there with the fashion elite (Uncle Karl, Kate Moss, Alexa Chung, Ryan Lobo, and the Teletubbie that carried a bag).

SJP; wore a eyebrow raising hat that has bloggers blogging. Peeps have called this thing everything from the puff of smoke on Lost to the shit that the volcano spewed out. Either way SJP took a risk and it didnt pay off. She's also wearing an old doona tucked into her panties and a thing on her arm that takes her blood pressure level every 60 seconds.

Kristin (the conservative one); thought she'd tuck into the Grecian roots she doesnt have and opt for the Aphrodite look. Naturally this worked a head-to-toe vegas girl charm and she has been praised for her generous tip to low fashion. For those of us who know every Sexy City episode ever this would fit seamlessly into the slutty Charlotte at the casino in Atlanta look. Basically what I'm saying is she looked cheap and gold is out.

Kim (the one who likes sex alot) has taken the matching bedsheets to SJP's doona dress and clipped them around her bodice with a broach found at her own garage sale. To her credit, not doing much (giving fashion the finger) has worked a magical charm; in comparison to the doona woman, penniless showgirl and dodo (on the right), Kim has come off as the one you'd rather invite over for tacos.

Cynthia; direct from the pages of Vogue (they advertise airlines right?) has chosen an ocean blue swimsuit then has had it altered into a dress. Really surprisingly fashionistas have not picked up the look! And speaking of picking up, Cynthia has picked up 2 furry friends from the wig shop and glued them to the hairline on her neck. AKA she's trying extensions and I'm not fooled nor entertained.

In conclusion, Kim looks fine. The rest are bloody idiots who's fashion taste tastes like diarrhea served in a empty toilet roll.

The Other Gwen About Town

THE FASHIONS; metallic suit jacket with shorties? Sound good to you? Can Fashion Hayley please call the verdict. (Hay Hay is obviously very busy in Japan, sushi sushi)

Wanna Look Like An Eel?

The brains at American Apparel have done it again! Get on over to the online store and pop one of these in your kart. Because who isn't sexually attractive in a skin tight head to toe piece of stretch-cotton?

With all respect I bet some indie kids are gonna kart afew of these; they might think they're kinda cute?! But!!! Think first!! Imagine whoever you live with walking out of their room at 9am in one of these - strugling out of their body sock as they rush to take their morning dump. Cute as a button.

Joking Around With Agyness & Kelly

So Ag thought she'd keep up the good times and walk the white plank in the name of Haiti.

It wasnt another quake, but Ag lost her shit and had to touch wood to keep her ship afloat.

A quick salute to the sun...

And she's back up, donates a smile to the crowd, then goes shamefully barefoot... Haiti style.

So the show realised they had nothing to loose, found Kelly Osbourne looking for a lost dog outside, and sent her out in the good name of fashion. Kelly smiled too, she knew the joke was on the fashion people because as she's been told several times; there's no chance in hell.

Freaky Shit

This'll make you feel good; check out the bullshit looks Vogue and that horrid lot are pushing. Seriously mark my words this'll be a look to rival the days of blue eye shadow with pink lips - we'll look back and giggle at just how funny we were back in the early 2000s. Historians will not only mark how ancient Egyptians ground up flowers and bullshit to use on their faces but also how the primitive types of the 21st century thought the nude dead corpse look was high fash and pretty damn sexy. Are you attracted?

Fashion Watch

M.I.A. is so so cute in her sharky number.