Hence Proving My Point That Everyone* Looks Better Bald

*Everyone being shitholes

Yeh Why Not

Kids learn about these things alot younger nowadays. Suri likes the red ones best, and picks the greens out for mum.

Precious Moments

She was more scared of him.

Be Mine

I'm currently midway through plans to kidnap a celebrity child and make it my own. After trawling the net I've narrowed it down to 2 highly likable choices.

Gwen better up the security at her LA home if she doesn't want me slipping through the screen door and running of with Kingston. I'll take Zuma if my net will fit him too. My plan involves dressing as a neighborly harajuku girl and telling them that I'm just there to talk Jap street fashion and fragrances. Just imagine... that could be me in an oversized hat in that pool.

Second on my list is the heavenly sent Nahla Ariela Aubry. Halle should look into a chunky security guard because it's gonna be difficult to get Nahla out of the cage I'm having custom made to catch her. And for my disguise I'll be dressed as the talented local cornrow artist.

Saucy!

One of the biggest perks of having a hotmail account is the great news page you get when you sign out. Somehow they have really got the news down to a T and in a form I can never say no too. Eg; breaking news;

Amazing!!! Im curious to read on! They know this is the shit people click on, none of that 'flood in Pakistan kills hundreds' buzz killer.

Basically 10 month old Lei Lei (good name right!) weighs the same as a 6 year old, at 20kg. His 'ravenous appetite' comes from an addiction to eating... anything. Sadly he is 2kg behind the world record :(.

Some Jack & Jill Shit

2 very puffy faces were spotted walking around and doing the expected. Is kidnapping really outdated? Because anyone could get a fair mill for just one of these things.

Someone Else's Baby

Real cute bub. It's not wrong if they posted this on the internet? ... that said I did crop out Mum...

Not Genetically Theirs

This frightened bub has landed is the knowing hands of Katherine Heigl and couldnt be more confused as to whats happening.
Sandwiched for a photo - why not - it wont wipe that 'who are these people and why wont they get off my shit' look.

Too close for comfort.

Cuteness Made A Baby

Meet Ma Baby =

The cute babe above popped out a boy! Yet to be named, the little hottie already has looks to kill and a badass attitude that screams 'give me ya phone or i'll shit in your mouth'. With his current date of birth, babyboy has 3 possible hollywood tots he can successfully marry; 1. Whatever came out of Naomi Watts vag, 2. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale (if the kids a homo - 10% chance remember!) or 3. Whatever it is that Pink made last night with the turkey baster.

???

Cant Wait!!

Baby Fever; Who Wants A Tot

Who wants a baby? Heres the recipe;

Sperm + Egg - Put in womb, leave for 9 month approx; let it fall out your V or pay some gloved stranger cut it out of your chest. Satisfied?