This Kills Me

Everywhere I look this slimy face is heaving out of a swimming pool. After a quick slap across my face I usually get over it, but it's not long till he's back for another scarring check in.

Whoops

A hectic day in the news, guess they couldn't report on Indonesia, Gaza and Egypt forever.

Quiet like the facial expression.

No Thanks, Really No

Firstly apologies if your a hoola hooper, but you've got to be aware that 'your type' come with alot of 'rolls eyes'. So if your a hooper and want to keep your confidence I suggest some nice Xmittens for Christmas, but if your from planet Earth (as opposed to Saturn - who also likes a dozen rings hanging around her tummy) then lets talk dreadlocks, hoops, the fucken rainbow, vegan fleece, backyard frog ponds, the organic rave movement, grain waves, bad hygiene and a chickens right to live, love and learn. Basically it's all a downward spiral until one day when your fire breathing backfires and you roast yourself from the inside out. Have I made my point; your gloves are bad. The worst.

Sounds Good To Me!

This little slogan had me thinking twice about dating online! The very exotic South Pacific! Yummy! I hope they are as red HOT as they say they are, and I hope I can go to a pretty island with my net lover and hang out at that glamourous stone wall thing in the picture. Sweet sweet fantasy!

Put The Acai Berries Down!

Internet spam/ads never fail to delivery the real news to me. Thank God. Lifesavers.

No longer will I be downing handfuls of acai on the hour every hour.

More importantly my wee little brain is plain curious about these sexy side panels and how much they pay to feature. I'm accepting silver coins and free acai.

Cos this is legit.

Those oh-so-harmful acai. You've been warned.

Real Significant

So google is no stranger to putting out a themed banner for any cheap occasion. But what the fuck are we celebrating today? WHAT?!?!!?!? I can not begin to puzzle this one together, although to the peeps at Google (or those in the know) this is probably some really obvious occasion. Dah it's international suck your own dick day!

Romania Calling

So facebook had to pull me aside, look me in the eye, and ask some very personal questions. All because apparently my account has experience a bit of action in a country called... Romania. In the end I had to reset a bunch of shit and set a security question. Sadly the 'have you ever lost a toenail' option wasn't there this time, instead they want to know more intimate details than what they could discover should they check my inbox. At least I now know facebook has got a 12 year old work experience intern in charge of their security sector.

Am I Meant To Know?

So above is some friendly net add, but I'm finding it really confusing. I don't know which lady is smarter, but I do know answering the question will certainly prove me smarter than them both combined.

On another note, I'm waiting for Dan Brown to write a thriller about these two, and how they are the modern day Caesar and Brutus. Obviously Jen is the one that go the raw deal in the end. Poor Jen, poor poor Jen.

Today Facebook Is Selling Me...

I'd rather just get lost en route.

Do You Think They Know?

Even facebook has cottoned on to some of the most exposing facts of my life and are now advertising them right back to me. I don't know what to do or who it was that told them I'd buy 100 Gaga t-shirts if only given the pay-pal option.

Not A Bad Idea, Not A Bad Idea At All...

Who Does Facebook Think I Am?

So there's a new way to work out 'who am I'. All you have to do is see whatever ads facebook is suggesting to you, and from that you can get a pretty good idea of just whats going on with you.

Finally someone is telling me the truth; I'm cheap, watch too many movies and have abdominal fat. I'm just glad this has finally been pointed out to me.

Hint Hint

So just incase you've got a vendetta against me, heres a saucy little hint on hacking my (recently reinstated) centrelink account!

It's one of my 3 top secret confidential questions! And just if your wondering - the answers to the other two are prominent shit on this blog; easy shit to remember... rhymes with 'lala'...

The Digital Age Cometh!

You know today is afew too many decades ahead of itself when you find yourself buying a whole lotta @#///$/%^/&*/()