You Can Dye But You Can't Lie

Lohan always means trouble and shady business, not always in that order but she's always shonkier than an email asking for bank details. 'Lohan' also often means a fashion band around the forehead. Thats her way of saying J'adore lady friend, whilst passing a wink to the fashionista world. Was she not the first to tie a shoelace around the circumference of her head?

Strictly Business

Now lets get her to number 1!

How to 'vote' or whatever is beyond me but I'd be a fool to underestimate the power of mind.

3 Hawt Pics From The Blog Of Kanye West

What ya think about that! Creativity has never looked so poignant. Kanye's definitely got himself an invite to my metaphorical dinner lineup.

The Other Gwen About Town

THE FASHIONS; metallic suit jacket with shorties? Sound good to you? Can Fashion Hayley please call the verdict. (Hay Hay is obviously very busy in Japan, sushi sushi)

Givin It A Red Hot Go!

She's got that look in her eyes!!!!!!

Not one to sit quietly, Whitters has taken sequin to stage yet again with negative results that have eclipsed her Bodyguard days.

Send the girl straight to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival; that sorry sad event needs to book some kind of act to please it's gay viewers.

Ahh The Many Possible Uses!

I know I posted another of these wool rats not long back (check previous posts under 'Kraft') but I'm still thinking of them 24/7. They've had a real profound effect on me. And not just cos they are majorly cute. It's because they are majorly not. They are FUCKED.

FRIES!

We all have our 'weak' days.

Will These Fit Up My Butt - Part 2

This time last year they might have!

Shoop

Almost went 1 too many posts without touching base with Gaga. Sincere apologies.
Heres some polaroids of our girl while in Japan workin with the peeps at polaroid. It's a total $$$ situation with the camera company swapping Gaga a fancy blonde wig for her to show some skin for their brand. I'm liking that Gaga is taking the job serious enough to wear her business gal shirt to the office, it's that work savvy attitude that pays the bills and keep the latex bras coming.

Ah Fuck

Unfortunately for the real world, I've now had my fattest month blogging; everrr. When does April end? Really? What day of the coming week?

Update On Flo Rider

Still confused what a Flo Rider is? It's the chunky human up top. How would you describe it?

Lady Gaga This Is Not

3 deranged fuckers. Everything these 3 represent is fucked.

A God

At some point recently I was talking with people and we were saying who we'd have an imaginary dinner date with (the whole alive or dead shit, Einstein ect ect). Somehow it ended with me saying I'd just be in the corner sippin tea with Gwen. The girl is a fucken deity.

Hanky Panky

Fun day out!; Madgy left the house (coconut juicebox in tow) to pull a sexy in the name of Dolce and Gabbana. She looked decent right?!?! Once again they stood her next to a male who was born the year Ray Of Light hit the radio waves. It was a lucky year for M. And by lucky I mean he'll be legal soon so Madge can put her sea sponge on his man carrot.

Shit Happens

I used to like her, but recently I woke up and realised; I think I hate Kelly Rowland.

To my personal credit I'm ok with her music (more than ok...) just not keen on her personality, or her fashions or her proximity to Beyonce. I think Beyonce has been subtly brainwashing us to hate those 2 darn shadows of hers. The comparison speaks for itself. Trust me, shaming Kelly and Michelle is the fuel to Beyonce's fire, I know for a fact she wrote Single Ladies to shame them as broke and untalented old maids. You cant get that close to B without suffering a career eclipse.

The Pale Couple

Firstly if some celeb is dating a model we all go 'oooh' secondly if that person was initially famous for being a rowdy drugged up human pig with a hot attitude, well, we all go 'woah shit'. They keep telling me Kelly keeps droppin dress sizes but she still looks like the same animal kisser to me, she's just had a bath and been introduced to razor blades. I guess I gotta give kudos to the reformed junkie, however I do miss the old bullshit and screaming antics. Celebs on illegal drugs can be such fun.

The Hand of Man

You

If anything excites me more than Gaga lifting a finger (gasp) it's a highlighted link to news on Michelle Williams. Beyonce's other shadow just intrigues me so much; her flailing career, attempts to break in a trend, a widely snubbed album, and lets not forget her gawky dance abilities. Oddly enough she's just about to reprise her role as Roxie in the Chicago musical; I know, she's definitely more Renee than Catherine Zeta. So while I'm sure we'll see her a well measured 2.7 feet behind Beyonce in the near future, in the meantime she can go correct the kind people with the tickets to see Heath Ledgers ex wife perform the Hot Honey Rag.

Famous Black Fur Ball

Although not apparent to the naked eye, the shriveling furry black puddle in the front seat is not a dog, it's actually a Lohan.

Blargh

You wouldn't notice old Ginger Spice even if you smelt the SPICE Impulse fragrance wafting from her grey hoodie. Why so plain Geri? Mel C being a eyesore again?

And thats all in Spice news for the next month. Riveting.

Another Day, Another Wig

Gaga continues to get freakay in Japan, this time she's doing something for the M.A.C. Viva Glam peeps. Gaga's response to the aids thing is to paint herself white and sing pop music while near-nude dudes carry her about. It's the closest thing there is to a cure so I'll take it!

It never hurt to pick up a neon light tube in the name of performance art.

What's on her head I couldn't explain even if Gaga had called me up and described every detail. Either way the whole world is lappin up this behavior, and in all honesty... it's the only thing humanity has going for it at the moment... at least since Tori Spelling stepped out of the spotlight.

Wanna Look Like An Eel?

The brains at American Apparel have done it again! Get on over to the online store and pop one of these in your kart. Because who isn't sexually attractive in a skin tight head to toe piece of stretch-cotton?

With all respect I bet some indie kids are gonna kart afew of these; they might think they're kinda cute?! But!!! Think first!! Imagine whoever you live with walking out of their room at 9am in one of these - strugling out of their body sock as they rush to take their morning dump. Cute as a button.

Lookin' back

This was easily one of my favorite cybervirgo moments. It will stay with me forever.

Yay!

I just worked out how to turn anonymous/open comments on! Can I expect 1 (family member?) to leave a 'hi' or somethin?

3 Inspiration Pics I Want To Share With You

Fascinating meaty dude. Style icon.

Inspirational Furby Obsession.

The shit nightmares plagiarise their ideas from. Juicy.

Whaddaya Know'

It's Lauryn Hill. She attended some thing for some good cause... wa blah wa. Nice to know she's alive and lookin cute. We all know she's mad as fuck under that though?

Irrelevant

Will you see it? In my books the whole 'Shrek' business is plain over. It's like the Barbie Girl hitmakers 'Aqua' who tried a little comeback last year. Sorry kids but meet your new bestie; irrelevancy. The green ogre is out, he was always a stupid dumbfuck, only now we have the granted hindsight to see it. LOL at ourselves liking Shrek - those early millennium humans were so weird, doh!

Ps in response to the posters text; I'm pretty fucken sure its ogre.

P!nk Likes To Ride

Fascinating; not only can she ride a strip of silk hanging from a celling, but she's also capable of riding a 2 wheeled bicycle; ON GRASS.

More importantly has the girl ever had 1 creditable fashion moment in her life?

Waaa!

Best fans forever! What a group of wild babes!

Wine & Dine

I don't even need clear sentences to write this bitch up; car, booze, new music, fake tits, Mark Ronson again, Blake, scabies.

Pretty Moment

There's alot of insult you could rub on this sexy daemon, but I don't think I need to explain just how easy it is to throw afew darts when your target is so fucken sexy!

Some Jack & Jill Shit

2 very puffy faces were spotted walking around and doing the expected. Is kidnapping really outdated? Because anyone could get a fair mill for just one of these things.

The Many Ways To Make A Living

To Do This Weekend

The washing has never been such a party. I'm just curious to find the fucker who had the time to do this, maybe I can pay them to tile my walls with crystals, they seem to have alot of time to spare. Unless of course this is some Haus Of Gaga shenanigans, I'm which case; no criticism, I'm yours.

Hair Guru

Is Snoop not a fashion icon to us all? His braids have bravely inspired all the males of the western world to grow, plat and adorn. A real groundbreaker in the hair industry. Im pretty sure men are doing this to pick up chicks, or on their wedding days when they wanna look nice.

Her Again

I had a mini panic attack that Gaga wasnt holding her 70% majority of the bullshit on this blog so here comes some fun pointless Cyber Virgo crap!

Above is a pic of Gaga on Japanese television- it's happening this very second - that's how hot on her heels I am. On another note Japanese fans must be darn thirsty for this couture shit; not only is Gaga 1 of only 3 blondes currently in Japan, but her backup dancers have Japan insanely thirsty for western meat.

The Shit You Can Now Get Away With

Gaga did this months back but did it not reset the bar in popstar fashionzz? The bar is now so low you need a shovel just to dig the 6 feet to see the top of it. I said it before and I'll say it again; get me my black lace mesh top.

Little Bitta Wee

(Note; the definitive 'harp' in the band, wouldn't have been the same without it. Aka the first 5 seconds of Telephone would have had to be pre-recorded. And we can't have that can we.)

Someone Else's Baby

Real cute bub. It's not wrong if they posted this on the internet? ... that said I did crop out Mum...

... (Loose The Hat)

The word Miranda does not spell fashion and never will. SJP is giving one hairy eye to the lady in the white. What I'm really saying is put your overalls back on and loose the fucken smirk... I know what you are.

Unique As A Metal Breastplate.

Kelis is gonna drop an album because having a baby just wasnt the disco she bargained for. She's tucked in her excess skin and told afew stylists that she's the original Gaga so go get her something METALLIC. So what do Kelis and Gaga have in common? I'll tell ya; one bodgy eye weighed down with a heavy fake eyelash. They also make music, but that was never the point.

Whadya Say To That!?

Crazed Ho

The ORIGINAL Crazed Ho has appeared in concert donning her take on that ludicrous theme of the future. Now try to wipe your arse bitch. Yeh try.

I'd like to point the finger at druggzz for this mess, but even that senario is to brainy. Instead (as hinted by the picture above) I'll point the finger at the kidney bean which serves as Fergie's brain source. It's that kidney bean that recommended a self cut fringe matched with a Disney Witch costume. Notably the kidney bean also wrote London Bridge.