Kelly Vs The Curse Of The Black Knowels

Kelly rocked up to some event in the UK - they don't hold her past against her there.

Smiled pretty, did her thang, wore blue ... bla bla bla

Performed old hits and new mini-hits

Then ended up on Elton Johns lap trying to get in his good books.

But I need to talk about the real issue at hand; and that is Kelly's career. Sure we all know her and Beyonce split on rosey terms but what we really know is that Beyonce took out the skull of dearest grandmama Knowels, rubed it thrice in the eye socket and then cursed the name Kelly Rowland to a lifetime of limp music and the role of Destiny's other child. So if Kelly has learnt anything from the Harry Potter franchise it is that 'neither can survive while the other lives'. Hence Kelly needs to whip out her doozey wand and give Bey the avada kedva beauty treatment if she is ever to get a bodacious black leg up on R&B's fiercest bitch.

That said, love em both and would by their poopies if they'd only retail it globally - it's hard getting things shipped to Australia I've learnt!