So for like the past 24 hours I've been bloated! I dunno if it was the full on dinner I made last night but srsly! It's got me feeling all kinds of baby bump. Got me thinking; maybe there's some kind of asian herb (in my kitchen) or a simple stand-on-your-head remedy. ?!?!?!?!?
Anyway, so I went to drop a self diagnosis session with my GP, Dr. Google. Optimistically typed in 'bloated' to my fav search engine and up comes a thousand professional sounding responses, they even have comments from other bloaters (my peers) and what they did to shoot out their phantom pregnancies. Basically Dr. G says I've got a life threatening cross combination of everything from swallowing too much air when I eat to irritable bowel syndrome. Ulcers of the intestine variety are also a very real possibility.
'Joe from Gilbert' says peppermint oil is the answer. Sadly Joe didn't say how much to drink so I've just swooshed a sprig of thyme (had no p'mint) around a bowl of olive oil and drunk the lot. Now I'm listening to Miley Cyrus and waiting for my bump to go down. Tick Tock!