Sunday, June 13, 2010

Gaga's Alejandro = Hot New Dance Movesre

Yerr I could rant and rave about religious iconography, Madonna, and sexy bowl cut wigs... but I can't be fucked. Instead I'm gonna give y'all the 101 on the latest dance moves pinched directly from the clip. Learning moves from videos is hotter than any hip hop bullshit you'll learn in a big room thats lined with mirrors. Word'!
Firstly the crab legs are back. Make sure your walking with a neat horizontal line between your knees to show everyone just how geometric you can be when needed.
This was a spiritual moment in the clip was it not! Matching your wig, undies and heels is now a DO, and then a sexy snake slide along anything (bed, bar top, door mat, nature strip) is a real opportunity to show that curvy back of yours. Oddly enough you'll also be looking like a grazing horse, but guys like that.
Now for some real fun. The old tropicana arms - just pretend your arms are a wave and your some kind of limp seaweed thats seductively mooshing around. Ale Ale Ale Ale Alejendro!
Don't miss this as a dance op! Grab a friends jewelry and thread it swiftly into your mouth. There is definitely a caution warning on this move, there being 1 major risk; germs! make sure you wash the thing first!
Ahh!! A fun move! Before you've seduced the DJ into playing 'Alejandro' warn the closest 7 strangers that in the 3rd run of the chorus you'd like them to violently hoist you in the air, as if your a sheet and they're making a bed. Don't be shy to hoot while your up there!
And finally, wack a mop head onto your skull and dance around like your auditioning to be the next face in a Good Guys commercial. Hint; demand your friends to catwalk around you, it'll really contrast your sassy moves. The vest really tops of this Carol Brady look so be sure to have one on-hand, or likewise some removable (a zip?) sleeves. Besides being 1 of my top 3 most ugliest pieces of clothing, what is wrong with a vest when worn ironically?

Enjoy! and don't complain to me when people start saying your a sexy mutha on the d floor!

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